Being a stepmom is hard. It is hella hard; it's the hardest thing I've ever done. It is harder than finding your birthmother. It is harder than being lonely and single and despairing; it is harder than having found someone. It is harder than moving from Atlanta to San Francisco. It's all about the multiple relationships, you see. How they need to be separate and yet everyone needs to be communicating about everything all the time. Mo and I have a relationship that developed; Mavis didn't really have a choice about me being here. And to build a relationship with her is something that can only happen over a long period of time. I know this--I have my own stepmother.
There don't seem to be any more independent decisions. I know that when I was single I had more free time, that time was my own, or at the very least I had the *illusion* of that. Of course it wasn't true. But know of course sometimes the parent thing takes precedence over things I want to do. It's really hard sometimes. I believe this is all in the range of normal, but still.
Of course there are fun moments too. Like playing Scrabble, and talking about school, and making pies, and playing funny games on the computer. And today Mavis "took" us to see "Across the Universe," which she had seen before but wanted us to see so she'd have someone else to talk about it with. It was actually very good, a lot better than I thought it would be. And a kid who loves The Beatles--how bad can that be?
1 comment:
Step moms who play scrabble must be ultra cool.
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